Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away. She waves. I wave. I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me.
What’s the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue? You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna!
What’s the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue? You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna!
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair
An extremely close friend just confided in me that he likes comic sans. He is no longer my close friend.
An extremely close friend just confided in me that he likes comic sans. He is no longer my close friend.
Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy? Because they had good high jeans
Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy? Because they had good high jeans
Alcohol won’t solve my problems, but neither will milk or orange juice.
Alcohol won’t solve my problems, but neither will milk or orange juice.
Why couldn’t the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain? It failed the Smaug test.
Why couldn’t the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain? It failed the Smaug test.
[Chasing a man out of the bathroom with a pube] Sir you dropped this!
[Chasing a man out of the bathroom with a pube] Sir you dropped this!
Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There’s PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don’t enjoy yourself.
Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There’s PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don’t enjoy yourself.
My band is so indie we don’t even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.
My band is so indie we don’t even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.