*beats arachnophobia* *trips over child dressed as Spider-Man* *fears spiders again*
I’ve met many Richards… However, some of them are Dicks.
I’ve met many Richards… However, some of them are Dicks.
I feel sorry for Anne Frank… First she gets her diary published, which is every girl’s worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn’t get any money from it, which is every Jew’s worst nightmare.
I feel sorry for Anne Frank… First she gets her diary published, which is every girl’s worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn’t get any money from it, which is every Jew’s worst nightmare.
[roadtrip] ME: I need a bathroom break FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle ME: um…ok…now how am I supposed to wipe?
[roadtrip] ME: I need a bathroom break FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle ME: um…ok…now how am I supposed to wipe?
At School: What Does It Give You? “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” “Meat!” “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” “Bacon!” “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” “Homework!”
At School: What Does It Give You? “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” “Meat!” “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” “Bacon!” “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” “Homework!”
What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party? A cross-dresser.
What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party? A cross-dresser.
How are Cigarettes like Hamsters? They’re harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire
How are Cigarettes like Hamsters? They’re harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire
My coffee reminded me of Ferguson today Dark and full of shots.
My coffee reminded me of Ferguson today Dark and full of shots.
Why do people like Trump over Obama? Because Orange is the new Black
Why do people like Trump over Obama? Because Orange is the new Black
A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar The bar tender looks at him for a few seconds and finally says ” alright, you can stay..just don’t start anything”
A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar The bar tender looks at him for a few seconds and finally says ” alright, you can stay..just don’t start anything”