Why do vacuums machines make for such terrible hairdriers? because they suck.
If at first you don’t succeed, get her drunk.
If at first you don’t succeed, get her drunk.
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ? A bud hound !
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers ? A bud hound !
The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings… “This seems a bit much, wasn’t *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn”
The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings… “This seems a bit much, wasn’t *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn”
What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?? “Meowch!”
What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?? “Meowch!”
What do you call a skank playing “H.O.R.S.E?” She missed two shots, so she’s a ho. I’ll leave now.
What do you call a skank playing “H.O.R.S.E?” She missed two shots, so she’s a ho. I’ll leave now.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to “clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!” And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies.
I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to “clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!” And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies.
My son told me that I wasn’t the “boss” of him, so I showed him a 37 slide PowerPoint to justify my management position.
My son told me that I wasn’t the “boss” of him, so I showed him a 37 slide PowerPoint to justify my management position.
New Neighbor: Hi, I’m Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I’m Spencer; I’ll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices.
New Neighbor: Hi, I’m Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I’m Spencer; I’ll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices.