Nothing says “I’ve given up” like a fat person with a stomach tattoo.
Do you know how the store Menards got its name? A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, “Arr! Me-nards!”
Do you know how the store Menards got its name? A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, “Arr! Me-nards!”
Cop: Ma’am, Are you intoxicated? Me: Are YOU intoxicated! Cop: No Me: Prove it! Cop: *puts handcuffs on me* Me: I like where this is going.
Cop: Ma’am, Are you intoxicated? Me: Are YOU intoxicated! Cop: No Me: Prove it! Cop: *puts handcuffs on me* Me: I like where this is going.
George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant.
George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
Facebook should change its name to Acquaintance Birthday Reminder
Facebook should change its name to Acquaintance Birthday Reminder
What’s the first sign of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass.
What’s the first sign of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass.
Trump made up his very own word for what he will be in less than 2 years “Unpresidented”
Trump made up his very own word for what he will be in less than 2 years “Unpresidented”
Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” [Doctor](http://images.amcnetworks.com/bbcamerica.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/18/files/2013/08/Doctorwho_50th-anniversary-thumbnail_01.jpg).
Knock, knock. “Who’s there?” [Doctor](http://images.amcnetworks.com/bbcamerica.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/18/files/2013/08/Doctorwho_50th-anniversary-thumbnail_01.jpg).
[Phone with Mom] “Did you just friend request me?” I’m on fb now “I’m not adding you” Fine do your own laundry then *accepts friend request*
[Phone with Mom] “Did you just friend request me?” I’m on fb now “I’m not adding you” Fine do your own laundry then *accepts friend request*