FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can’t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They’ll write her name on the cup for ya!
How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn’t it?
How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn’t it?
I can’t personally remember an Olympics with better toilet reporting
I can’t personally remember an Olympics with better toilet reporting
Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you’re an “arf”itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it’s “bark”itect
Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you’re an “arf”itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it’s “bark”itect
DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you.
DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you.
What cause of death prevents a man from having a closed-casket funeral? Viagra overdose
What cause of death prevents a man from having a closed-casket funeral? Viagra overdose
Gas is under $2 a gallon and Suge just killed a guy… Looks like the ’90’s are back!!
Gas is under $2 a gallon and Suge just killed a guy… Looks like the ’90’s are back!!
Whats the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste
Whats the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today!
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today!
My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her.
My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her.