DIET TIP: Always eat smart. Refuse any food that hasn’t scored highly on the SATs and been admitted to an Ivy League school.
Sorry, I can’t take your call right now, I’m all tied up. -submissive’s answering machine.
Sorry, I can’t take your call right now, I’m all tied up. -submissive’s answering machine.
Some of the best things in life…are mistakes.
Some of the best things in life…are mistakes.
Autistic guy didn’t get paid for a whole year while working at Applebee’s. Life is hard for stauving autists.
Autistic guy didn’t get paid for a whole year while working at Applebee’s. Life is hard for stauving autists.
Gary Johnson withdraws from the Libertarian Ticket. Replaced by Harambe. That’s right. Johnsons out for Harambe!
Gary Johnson withdraws from the Libertarian Ticket. Replaced by Harambe. That’s right. Johnsons out for Harambe!
FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can’t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They’ll write her name on the cup for ya!
FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can’t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They’ll write her name on the cup for ya!
How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn’t it?
How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn’t it?
I can’t personally remember an Olympics with better toilet reporting
I can’t personally remember an Olympics with better toilet reporting
Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you’re an “arf”itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it’s “bark”itect
Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you’re an “arf”itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it’s “bark”itect
DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you.
DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you.