The Pope walks into a synagogue the Rabbi asks, “Why the wrong faith?”
doc: “your dad’s been in a coma for 9 days, we’re running out of ideas” me: “let me try” [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]
doc: “your dad’s been in a coma for 9 days, we’re running out of ideas” me: “let me try” [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]
*gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*
*gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*
Whenever I see a lone female jogging at night I follow her in my car from a noticeable distance because there are a lot of weirdos out there.
Whenever I see a lone female jogging at night I follow her in my car from a noticeable distance because there are a lot of weirdos out there.
Comic Sans Serif walks into a bar…. … the bartender says: “Get out! We don’t serve your type here! “
Comic Sans Serif walks into a bar…. … the bartender says: “Get out! We don’t serve your type here! “
What’s a blonde’s favorite color? A light shade of clear.
What’s a blonde’s favorite color? A light shade of clear.
The woman next door was flashing me from her upstairs bedroom . How she got her car in there I’ll never know.
The woman next door was flashing me from her upstairs bedroom . How she got her car in there I’ll never know.
A fat man is in the kitchen preparing vegetables The guest asks “Are you cutting?” “No, I’m not.” “You should be.”
A fat man is in the kitchen preparing vegetables The guest asks “Are you cutting?” “No, I’m not.” “You should be.”
My asian girlfriend refuses to go all the way with me… She’s a real life Chinese finger trap
My asian girlfriend refuses to go all the way with me… She’s a real life Chinese finger trap
Why don’t boobies make apple juice? BECAUSE GIRLS ONLY HAVE A “PEAR” AHAHEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE
Why don’t boobies make apple juice? BECAUSE GIRLS ONLY HAVE A “PEAR” AHAHEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE