There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict.
I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit.
I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit.
All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they’re being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.
All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they’re being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.
If your ringtone is my alarm sound, you can go straight to hell
If your ringtone is my alarm sound, you can go straight to hell
I hear Donald Trump wants every welfare recipient to take a drug test… I don’t even what to know what he’s planning to do with all those urine samples.
I hear Donald Trump wants every welfare recipient to take a drug test… I don’t even what to know what he’s planning to do with all those urine samples.
Why was the Scandinavian atheist warm? He had Thor doubt.
Why was the Scandinavian atheist warm? He had Thor doubt.
I’m not homophobic, I love my house!
I’m not homophobic, I love my house!
Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park
Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park
Have you tried african food? -No. -They haven’t tried it either.
Have you tried african food? -No. -They haven’t tried it either.
Going to church doesn’t necessarily make you a nice person… It does, however, make you sleepy.
Going to church doesn’t necessarily make you a nice person… It does, however, make you sleepy.