I went to donate a kidney once.. I went in to donate a kidney once but when I arrived at the hospital they asked me where I’d got it from -Jimmy Carr
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer.
Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, “Keep going.”
Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, “Keep going.”
Walking around naked is a great motivator to get back to the gym
Walking around naked is a great motivator to get back to the gym
What do you call a group of girls all named Paige? A chapter.
What do you call a group of girls all named Paige? A chapter.
There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict.
There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict.
I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit.
I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit.
You should never live in the past. Unless you’re a time traveler. Cause dinosaurs rule.
You should never live in the past. Unless you’re a time traveler. Cause dinosaurs rule.
Moves shopping cart to allow car to park Lady doesn’t even say thanks Puts cart back behind her car Leaves.
Moves shopping cart to allow car to park Lady doesn’t even say thanks Puts cart back behind her car Leaves.
You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts.
You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts.