May you always be the one looking confused standing in the back of a group selfie
I’m 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
I’m 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
For David Blaine’s next trick, he will move in to a series of increasingly small apartments and eventually die alone.
For David Blaine’s next trick, he will move in to a series of increasingly small apartments and eventually die alone.
I dumped my girlfriend, Ruth, the other day. I told myself I’m just gonna be Ruthless in love from now on.
I dumped my girlfriend, Ruth, the other day. I told myself I’m just gonna be Ruthless in love from now on.
Today is “bring your dog to work day”. I thought it was “bring your dawg to work day”. So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg
Today is “bring your dog to work day”. I thought it was “bring your dawg to work day”. So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg
Why did the guitarist go to jail? For fingering a minor
Why did the guitarist go to jail? For fingering a minor
New Stephen King book! I hear that Stephen King is writing a new book dealing with the horrors of cat ownership. It’s called Pffffffffft!
New Stephen King book! I hear that Stephen King is writing a new book dealing with the horrors of cat ownership. It’s called Pffffffffft!
I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon.
I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon.
When Balls Disappear What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear? Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.
When Balls Disappear What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear? Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.
I posed naked for a magazine today Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money :)
I posed naked for a magazine today Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money 🙂