I spent 20 minutes at the gym trying to untangle my headphones…I’m done..my arms are killing me!
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.
I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he’s a little sluggish.
I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he’s a little sluggish.
Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she’s always blowing bills
Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she’s always blowing bills
Yo mama is so fat that we were unable to put her under for the surgery. I’m sorry, there’s nothing we could do.
Yo mama is so fat that we were unable to put her under for the surgery. I’m sorry, there’s nothing we could do.
What do you call a midget esse? A paragraph. Because he ain’t a full esse.
What do you call a midget esse? A paragraph. Because he ain’t a full esse.
“Did you ever try my hot salty water?” – Inventor of soup
“Did you ever try my hot salty water?” – Inventor of soup
What’s the definition of a good actor? Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.
What’s the definition of a good actor? Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.
New documentary about the female menstrual cycle. Available exclusively at Redbox.
New documentary about the female menstrual cycle. Available exclusively at Redbox.
What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly? The Millenial Falcon.
What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly? The Millenial Falcon.