Category: School jokes

Every earthquake is a reminder that you drunk-ate the good granola bars out of the earthquake kit eight years ago and never restocked them.

How does a Bat Girl become a Bat Woman? She has a Bat Mitzvah

I hate when I’m spying on someone while they’re showering and they let out a huge fart. What a sicko.

[buying cucumber and vaseline] me: got an awesome night planned clerk: eugh [later, eating a cucumber and vaseline sandwich] this is awful

“I’m not angry, just disappointed. You need to try harder. This is important! Do I make myself clear?” “Sorry, sir. Here’s your ketchup.”

robber 1: *puts ski mask on head* you grab the money while i kiss all the bankers robber 2: huh? robber 1: uh i meant kill *hides lipstick*

Had sex with a deaf and blind paraplegic girl. Fucked her senseless.

What do you call a train full of Jews? Doesn’t matter they’re not coming back.

Two types of people There are two types of people in this world: those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

I spent 20 minutes at the gym trying to untangle my headphones…I’m done..my arms are killing me!