I’m going to get a dime-sized spider tattooed on my penis. It’s the only way I can get women to shout “Oh my God it’s huge!” when they see my dick.
What do you call a black guy who plays the piano? a pianist
What do you call a black guy who plays the piano? a pianist
alarm (noun) -a device commonly used in the morning to invent new curse words.
alarm (noun) -a device commonly used in the morning to invent new curse words.
What’s the difference betweens jews and Santa-Claus? Santa Claus comes down the chimney
What’s the difference betweens jews and Santa-Claus? Santa Claus comes down the chimney
Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding theft vandalism assault and murder
Why did the tornado get arrested? -For speeding theft vandalism assault and murder
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was in tense.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was in tense.
Organized people are just people who are too lazy to look for things.
Organized people are just people who are too lazy to look for things.
don’t usually brag about helping people, but when I saw an old lady drop her groceries, I yelled: “lift with a straight back!” it felt good
don’t usually brag about helping people, but when I saw an old lady drop her groceries, I yelled: “lift with a straight back!” it felt good
[pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no
[pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no
Reading the Cheesecake Factory menu. Don’t tell me how it ends!
Reading the Cheesecake Factory menu. Don’t tell me how it ends!