This man’s dad was an atheist. Told me he was a god damned mother fucker.
If people on Twitter found a horses’ head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops…..
If people on Twitter found a horses’ head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops…..
What is Batman’s favourite hair product? Conditioner Gordon.
What is Batman’s favourite hair product? Conditioner Gordon.
What do you call a nazi gardeners foot pain? A facist planter’s Plantar Fasciitis.
What do you call a nazi gardeners foot pain? A facist planter’s Plantar Fasciitis.
The #1 Killer of cats aged 14+ is feline AIDS. However, the #1 Killer of people aged 60+ is…. Hearing AIDS.
The #1 Killer of cats aged 14+ is feline AIDS. However, the #1 Killer of people aged 60+ is…. Hearing AIDS.
Give man a jacket and he’ll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he’ll never go outside again.
Give man a jacket and he’ll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he’ll never go outside again.
Murphy said to his daughter “I want you home by eleven o’clock.” She said “But Father I’m no longer a child!” He said “I know that’s why I want you home by eleven.”
Murphy said to his daughter “I want you home by eleven o’clock.” She said “But Father I’m no longer a child!” He said “I know that’s why I want you home by eleven.”
Whenever you’re feeling inadequate, remember: You know more about medicine than legitimate doctors during the civil war did.
Whenever you’re feeling inadequate, remember: You know more about medicine than legitimate doctors during the civil war did.
I would make a joke about your mother But cows are sacred in my country.
I would make a joke about your mother But cows are sacred in my country.
“Nothing is certain, except death and taxis.” Don’t you mean “ta– *gets run over by a cab*
“Nothing is certain, except death and taxis.” Don’t you mean “ta– *gets run over by a cab*