I was very upset at the funeral the other day. I started wailing and moaning and banging on the coffin In the end they opened it and let me out.
What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator.
What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator.
I have a MASSIVE heroine problem… I’m addicted to fat women who save my life.
I have a MASSIVE heroine problem… I’m addicted to fat women who save my life.
Who was the first carpenter ever? Eve, she made Adam’s banana stand.
Who was the first carpenter ever? Eve, she made Adam’s banana stand.
OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What’s the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]
OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What’s the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]
Whenever I see an elderly person who looks lost and confused, I stop and take a moment to feed ’em a peanut.
Whenever I see an elderly person who looks lost and confused, I stop and take a moment to feed ’em a peanut.
Anyone who thinks Megan Fox is the hottest thing ever has obviously never left Pizza Rolls in too long.
Anyone who thinks Megan Fox is the hottest thing ever has obviously never left Pizza Rolls in too long.
Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It’s just that most people don’t have thyme.
Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It’s just that most people don’t have thyme.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison..
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison..
birds & bees a boy asks his mom “mom, where do babies come from?” the mom pauses and then says ” the stork” then the boy says “ah, who fucks the stork?”
birds & bees a boy asks his mom “mom, where do babies come from?” the mom pauses and then says ” the stork” then the boy says “ah, who fucks the stork?”