[Gets on one knee] Margaret- [Pulls out ring] Will you- will you please hide this, Gollum won’t stop following me.
How did Canada get its name? They picked random letters out of a hat. C…. eh? N… eh? D….eh?
How did Canada get its name? They picked random letters out of a hat. C…. eh? N… eh? D….eh?
I have two requirements in my will… 1). I want my remains spread out at Disney World. 2). I do not want to be cremated.
I have two requirements in my will… 1). I want my remains spread out at Disney World. 2). I do not want to be cremated.
After hearing that Diarrhea causes the most deaths… I realized I’m next. Diarrhea’s hereditary, and it runs in my genes.
After hearing that Diarrhea causes the most deaths… I realized I’m next. Diarrhea’s hereditary, and it runs in my genes.
What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable? Neigh-bours.
What do you call 2 horses side by side in a stable? Neigh-bours.
People of Twitter: If you worry that you aren’t creative enough, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
People of Twitter: If you worry that you aren’t creative enough, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Sometimes, eating road kill Can be a big moose steak
Sometimes, eating road kill Can be a big moose steak
Non-alcoholic beer… Is like eating your sister’s pussy. It tastes the same but deep down you know it just isn’t right.
Non-alcoholic beer… Is like eating your sister’s pussy. It tastes the same but deep down you know it just isn’t right.
What do you call it when a comedian falls back on childish humor simply to avoid complete failure? Pun-ting
What do you call it when a comedian falls back on childish humor simply to avoid complete failure? Pun-ting
You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes.
You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes.