Category: Negócios

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don’t pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There’s a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)

What would you get if you crossed a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite !

A man walks into a fancy dress party in calvin klein briefs… The host asks him ‘what are you dressed as?’ Premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants.

I thought my daughter was studying oceanography It turns out she was just a C student

[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he’s just literally the worst

When you think your life couldn’t be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar… The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.

What’s the difference between a teabag and the English rugby team? A teabag stays in the cup longer…

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

Just got a peek at Santa’s naughty list! Amazingly, it’s almost identical to my friends list. Can’t believe some of the things you people have done!