Having a bit of a lazy day… sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss doesn’t look amused
What did the black kid get for christmas? Your bike.
What did the black kid get for christmas? Your bike.
Ladies, call me Adobe Updater, because I nag you at least once a week and never seem to work
Ladies, call me Adobe Updater, because I nag you at least once a week and never seem to work
I love rap. I want to be a rapist when I grow up.
I love rap. I want to be a rapist when I grow up.
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says “I don’t know.” The second logician says “I don’t know.” The third logician says “Yes!”
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says “I don’t know.” The second logician says “I don’t know.” The third logician says “Yes!”
*carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*
*carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*
HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls.
HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls.
For my next party trick I’ll swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they’ll come out of my ass tied together…. I shit you knot
For my next party trick I’ll swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they’ll come out of my ass tied together…. I shit you knot
How did Christopher Columbus find India? He used Apple Maps.
How did Christopher Columbus find India? He used Apple Maps.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team