Category: Negócios

A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work.

My wife is like a desert wind She rarely blows, but when she does it’s dry.

Inspecting mirrors is a job I can see myself doing it.

I thought my daughter was studying oceanography It turns out she was just a C student

[Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he’s just literally the worst

When you think your life couldn’t be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar… The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.

What’s the difference between a teabag and the English rugby team? A teabag stays in the cup longer…

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

Just got a peek at Santa’s naughty list! Amazingly, it’s almost identical to my friends list. Can’t believe some of the things you people have done!