If a chick tells you she’s “not like other girls” she just proved she’s exactly like all other girls.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
Me: Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn’t see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.
Me: Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn’t see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.
Idea: Like Google Glass, but a necklace or something that projects a website onto the face of the person talking to you.
Idea: Like Google Glass, but a necklace or something that projects a website onto the face of the person talking to you.
“I’d like one personal pizza please” Pizza: Your life’s a mess. You should lose 10 pounds. Call your mother. “Whoa maybe not that personal”
“I’d like one personal pizza please” Pizza: Your life’s a mess. You should lose 10 pounds. Call your mother. “Whoa maybe not that personal”
Did you hear Clinton has a girlfriend? …they think Bill might have one too.
Did you hear Clinton has a girlfriend? …they think Bill might have one too.
I’m not saying she’s a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She’d be a porcupine!
I’m not saying she’s a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She’d be a porcupine!
After watching TV with my kids, I think I have figured out what’s wrong with this generation….their cartoons suck.
After watching TV with my kids, I think I have figured out what’s wrong with this generation….their cartoons suck.
A friend asked me if every sentence has to include a vegetable I said not nessacelery
A friend asked me if every sentence has to include a vegetable I said not nessacelery
Christopher Nolan and Leo Dicaprio walk into a bar and then they walk into another one
Christopher Nolan and Leo Dicaprio walk into a bar and then they walk into another one