What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalottapus
[leans over to kid watching Planet of the Apes in the theatre] Call them monkeys one more time & see what happens.
[leans over to kid watching Planet of the Apes in the theatre] Call them monkeys one more time & see what happens.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking… Jk, rowling.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking… Jk, rowling.
How to get laid: Step 1: Be an egg Step 2: That’s literally it
How to get laid: Step 1: Be an egg Step 2: That’s literally it
I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas. It’s a once in a lifetime experience.
I recommend everyone to go swimming with piranhas. It’s a once in a lifetime experience.
What do you call a cute girl in an Amish church? A visitor.
What do you call a cute girl in an Amish church? A visitor.
My wife likes to talk after sex.. So she called me from a hotel room. No Respect! RIP Rodney Dangerfield
My wife likes to talk after sex.. So she called me from a hotel room. No Respect! RIP Rodney Dangerfield
Bicycling must be a really popular hobby in Detroit I saw this black kid, and he had 7 bikes.
Bicycling must be a really popular hobby in Detroit I saw this black kid, and he had 7 bikes.
How do you take your coffee? **Barista:** How do you take your coffee? **Customer:** Ferguson Police **Barista:** Huh? **Customer:** Black, two shots.
How do you take your coffee? **Barista:** How do you take your coffee? **Customer:** Ferguson Police **Barista:** Huh? **Customer:** Black, two shots.
Just breathe and eat a banana. Everything will be OK.
Just breathe and eat a banana. Everything will be OK.