What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.
Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.
A guy asks a librarian if she has a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat She says, “It rings a bell but I can’t be certain.”
A guy asks a librarian if she has a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat She says, “It rings a bell but I can’t be certain.”
Dark humor is like clean water… Not everyone gets some.
Dark humor is like clean water… Not everyone gets some.
People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I’ll need 3 rolls of duct tape.
People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I’ll need 3 rolls of duct tape.
If you spell race car backwards… You get what Honda owners wish they had.
If you spell race car backwards… You get what Honda owners wish they had.
I was in the pharmacy today… A man approached me offering either a blue pill or a red pill. I didn’t know staying in false reality gave you a 24 hour erection.
I was in the pharmacy today… A man approached me offering either a blue pill or a red pill. I didn’t know staying in false reality gave you a 24 hour erection.
I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole I didn’t avocado
I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole I didn’t avocado
What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!
What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!
She’s the kind of girl that boys look at twice – they can’t believe it the first time.
She’s the kind of girl that boys look at twice – they can’t believe it the first time.