The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to ‘gamenight’ and she brings Monopoly.
What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop.
What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop.
Hey Seattle, Wanna win the Superbowl? No thanks, We’ll pass!
Hey Seattle, Wanna win the Superbowl? No thanks, We’ll pass!
‘No you can’t have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.’ -Moms
‘No you can’t have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.’ -Moms
I ripped my pants and had to sew them back up. Britches love stitches.
I ripped my pants and had to sew them back up. Britches love stitches.
A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office with nothing but saran wrap on. Psychiatrist says, “I can clearly see your nuts”
A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office with nothing but saran wrap on. Psychiatrist says, “I can clearly see your nuts”
[3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren’t home. me: but we’re only 7, that’s awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING.
[3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren’t home. me: but we’re only 7, that’s awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING.
ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting… Cause I just bombed this physics test.
ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting… Cause I just bombed this physics test.
I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed… I guess you could say that I came to a realisation.
I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed… I guess you could say that I came to a realisation.
This thorn bush just stabbed my wife in her vagina. What a fucking prick.
This thorn bush just stabbed my wife in her vagina. What a fucking prick.