I’m tired of seeing “Hey OP, I banged your mom” comments every time I post a submission…. I never should have given dad my username.
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles lastnight.. My next poop could spell, Disaster.
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles lastnight.. My next poop could spell, Disaster.
Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’ The second atom with a strong British accent asks, ‘Are you sure?’ The first one replies, ‘ yes I’m positive.’
Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’ The second atom with a strong British accent asks, ‘Are you sure?’ The first one replies, ‘ yes I’m positive.’
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on. The more it hurts.
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on. The more it hurts.
Had sex with a condom tonight. Maybe next time it will be with a girl.
Had sex with a condom tonight. Maybe next time it will be with a girl.
The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left
The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left
My daughter just announced she’s SICK of stupid-ass people. I said “Oh darlin, you’re gonna feel ill for a long time.. they’re everywhere.”
My daughter just announced she’s SICK of stupid-ass people. I said “Oh darlin, you’re gonna feel ill for a long time.. they’re everywhere.”
I like my women how I like my whiskey……. Age 12 and all mixed up in coke.
I like my women how I like my whiskey……. Age 12 and all mixed up in coke.
A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull.
Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull.