Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on. The more it hurts.
Had sex with a condom tonight. Maybe next time it will be with a girl.
Had sex with a condom tonight. Maybe next time it will be with a girl.
The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left
The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left
My daughter just announced she’s SICK of stupid-ass people. I said “Oh darlin, you’re gonna feel ill for a long time.. they’re everywhere.”
My daughter just announced she’s SICK of stupid-ass people. I said “Oh darlin, you’re gonna feel ill for a long time.. they’re everywhere.”
I like my women how I like my whiskey……. Age 12 and all mixed up in coke.
I like my women how I like my whiskey……. Age 12 and all mixed up in coke.
A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull.
Your smile must be a black hole, nothing can escape its pull.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
Rugby… if it was easy, it would be called your mom.
Rugby… if it was easy, it would be called your mom.
Smile is the only curved line that can make everything straight
Smile is the only curved line that can make everything straight