[During sex] Me: I know you want me to be “naughty”, but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume.
Conspiracy theories are like moon landings. They’re all fake
Conspiracy theories are like moon landings. They’re all fake
Q: What do you call 3 blondes a chimp and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks 4 f*cks 4 f*cks not for a zillion f*cks 4 f*cks!
Q: What do you call 3 blondes a chimp and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks 4 f*cks 4 f*cks not for a zillion f*cks 4 f*cks!
do you sell wasps? a man goes into a pet shop and asks “how much are your wasps” the pet shop owner replies “we don’t sell any wasps” “what about the one in the window”
do you sell wasps? a man goes into a pet shop and asks “how much are your wasps” the pet shop owner replies “we don’t sell any wasps” “what about the one in the window”
Ethereal A breakfast suggestion from Mike Tyson
Ethereal A breakfast suggestion from Mike Tyson
“UNLESS WE’RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE’S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!” – me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum
“UNLESS WE’RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE’S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!” – me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum
What do priests have in common with my dad’s BBQs? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do priests have in common with my dad’s BBQs? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
So Hitler is working at a bookstore and I go up to him and say, “Hey, do you have any books about the expense of a yell?” He replies, “Kinda, I have this book about the Holla’ cost.”
So Hitler is working at a bookstore and I go up to him and say, “Hey, do you have any books about the expense of a yell?” He replies, “Kinda, I have this book about the Holla’ cost.”
What are 3 things a black man can’t get? A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
What are 3 things a black man can’t get? A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
I am thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator I wonder how many people are in that field
I am thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator I wonder how many people are in that field