I’ve got good news and bad news: the bad news is that it’s either trump or Hillary for president… The good news is that by 2020 America will be in ruins and Kanye will never get a chance to run.
Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don’t doubt him… People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I’m *talkin* about.
Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don’t doubt him… People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I’m *talkin* about.
There was a royal baby… The royal baby was born 8 pounds, 6 ounces. With the exchange rate, that’s like 12.50, American.
There was a royal baby… The royal baby was born 8 pounds, 6 ounces. With the exchange rate, that’s like 12.50, American.
To make sure everyone cries at my funeral, I’m requesting they play nothing but Creed and Nickleback through factory car speakers.
To make sure everyone cries at my funeral, I’m requesting they play nothing but Creed and Nickleback through factory car speakers.
Confucius Say Man who run behind car get exhausted But man who run in front of car get tired.
Confucius Say Man who run behind car get exhausted But man who run in front of car get tired.
Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Pavlov is sitting in a bar when a phone rings. He jumps of his chair and yells – “Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs”
Pavlov is sitting in a bar when a phone rings. He jumps of his chair and yells – “Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs”
Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse
[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse
What does a mother use to keep her childrens’ toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file
What does a mother use to keep her childrens’ toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file