Category: Money jokes

I used to get sad when the leaves fell from the trees… But then they always grew back, so that was a releaf.

Did you hear about the rabbi performing circumcisions for free? …he just kept the tips.

You’re 35 weeks pregnant and gonna make me do math?

I saw a car with “Wash Me” written on it, so I set it on fire. I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow cars to become sentient!

If I were an astronaut, I’d want to be one for the Bahamas because I really don’t want to take the risk of actually going into space.

Awful chat-up line: “Did your mother have zika virus?” Because I like a little head

I feel like I have something to prove here. Judge: That’s sort of how this works.

What’s worse than getting dumped by your girlriend? Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.

Star Wars Spoilers Woosh Woosh Pewpew Pew Pew

I can never remember if it’s “laying” or “lying.” Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he’s doing one of them in the middle of the road. 🙁