If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep.
The best things in life are free. Unless it’s herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes.
The best things in life are free. Unless it’s herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes.
Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They’re both filled with stiffs one’s coming one’s going.
Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They’re both filled with stiffs one’s coming one’s going.
How do you know you are in the gardening section of Home Depot? Everything is priced in pesos.
How do you know you are in the gardening section of Home Depot? Everything is priced in pesos.
What was the slogan for Shakespeare’s camping shop? Now is the winter of our discount tents
What was the slogan for Shakespeare’s camping shop? Now is the winter of our discount tents
I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said “Hi Jack.” He shot me.
I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said “Hi Jack.” He shot me.
Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn’t even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like.
Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn’t even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like.
What do Americans and Putin have in common? They’ll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
What do Americans and Putin have in common? They’ll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
Final words on germanwings flight recorder: “Dave’s not here…”
Final words on germanwings flight recorder: “Dave’s not here…”
I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I’m not even high.
I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I’m not even high.