There’s no way Kat Von D knows when she’s done showering.
Helen Keller walks into a bar… And then a table… And then some chairs… And then a plate Glass window…
Helen Keller walks into a bar… And then a table… And then some chairs… And then a plate Glass window…
How do you kill a circus? Go straight for the juggler
How do you kill a circus? Go straight for the juggler
3 days ago I put a sign on my door that said “I’ll be back in 20 minutes”. Nobody has bothered me since and I’m never taking it down.
3 days ago I put a sign on my door that said “I’ll be back in 20 minutes”. Nobody has bothered me since and I’m never taking it down.
*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son “Ok” What’s the opposite of a hot dog “Um…a cold cat?” Exactly. Now let’s talk about Fluffy
*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son “Ok” What’s the opposite of a hot dog “Um…a cold cat?” Exactly. Now let’s talk about Fluffy
I’m kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave ’em my too weak notice
I’m kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave ’em my too weak notice
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Adeline ! Adeline who ? Adeline extra to the letter !
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Adeline ! Adeline who ? Adeline extra to the letter !
Why don’t sea creatures get divorced? Because they can’t afford abalone.
Why don’t sea creatures get divorced? Because they can’t afford abalone.
What did Cinderella say when the got to the ball? She didn’t say anything, she just gagged.
What did Cinderella say when the got to the ball? She didn’t say anything, she just gagged.
My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag.
My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag.