Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!
Throughout the summer Trump’s campaign was on the gas pedal… But now they have turned on Cruz control.
Throughout the summer Trump’s campaign was on the gas pedal… But now they have turned on Cruz control.
What Did Superman Tell Superwoman? Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)
What Did Superman Tell Superwoman? Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)
Why is divorce so expensive? BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!!!
Why is divorce so expensive? BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!!!
KAREN ADDISON: CHEAP DATE He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.
KAREN ADDISON: CHEAP DATE He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.
What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing. Fruits can’t talk. Idiot.
What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing. Fruits can’t talk. Idiot.
*lowers head *breaks thru 5 tackles *hurdles lineman *runs 100 yards *hamstrung at goal line *dragged back to line of scrimmage -my wedding
*lowers head *breaks thru 5 tackles *hurdles lineman *runs 100 yards *hamstrung at goal line *dragged back to line of scrimmage -my wedding
What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police? A small medium at large.
What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police? A small medium at large.
I’m allergic to alcohol…. I break out in handcuffs.
I’m allergic to alcohol…. I break out in handcuffs.
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Dubai doesn’t like the Flinstones but Abu Dhabi do
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Dubai doesn’t like the Flinstones but Abu Dhabi do