Said “large” today at Starbucks, and everyone starting chanting “Venti, Venti, Venti!” and a mass suicide occurred.
why did the scarecrow win a Pulitzer Prize? He was outstanding in his field
why did the scarecrow win a Pulitzer Prize? He was outstanding in his field
I’m part of a club for people with parkinson’s We have our own hand shake
I’m part of a club for people with parkinson’s We have our own hand shake
I have the reflexes of a cat, but like if it was stoned.
I have the reflexes of a cat, but like if it was stoned.
Girls love it when guys: – are respectful – are handsome – eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun
Girls love it when guys: – are respectful – are handsome – eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun
i hate the outside *invents houses* i kinda miss it now *invents windows*
i hate the outside *invents houses* i kinda miss it now *invents windows*
A dick has a sad life… Its hair is a mess, its family is nuts, its neighbor is an asshole, its best friend is a pussy, and its owner beats it.
A dick has a sad life… Its hair is a mess, its family is nuts, its neighbor is an asshole, its best friend is a pussy, and its owner beats it.
Q: What’s the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Q: What’s the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde keeps sucking after you slap her.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde keeps sucking after you slap her.
A cryogenic experiment to freeze people at absolute zero just succeeded. I know because my friend took part in it. Don’t worry, he’s OK.
A cryogenic experiment to freeze people at absolute zero just succeeded. I know because my friend took part in it. Don’t worry, he’s OK.