My girlfriend called me a pedophile yesterday… …so I said, “That’s a big word for a seven-year-old”
A seal walks into a club…. That’s the story and we’re sticking to it.
A seal walks into a club…. That’s the story and we’re sticking to it.
People with guns, asking for your money… …You’ve got to hand it to them.
People with guns, asking for your money… …You’ve got to hand it to them.
My wife and I are both feminists But I’m a man so I’m a bit better than her at it
My wife and I are both feminists But I’m a man so I’m a bit better than her at it
What is the best way to follow a lost dog’s paw prints? With a track-tor!
What is the best way to follow a lost dog’s paw prints? With a track-tor!
How did Darth Vader cross the street? Ewoked.
How did Darth Vader cross the street? Ewoked.
I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn’t locate the manual.
I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn’t locate the manual.
The shame about ancient Grecian art… The shame about ancient Grecian art is that there are amazing marble sculptures and structures which too often get taken for granite.
The shame about ancient Grecian art… The shame about ancient Grecian art is that there are amazing marble sculptures and structures which too often get taken for granite.
Why didn’t they let Voldermort play quidditch? …because he’d always just Slytherin the grass.
Why didn’t they let Voldermort play quidditch? …because he’d always just Slytherin the grass.
I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and bitter.
I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and bitter.