What did Santa Claus say to his wife after he watched the weather report? It’s going to rain dear. ^Yeah ^I’m ^sorry ^its ^late ^guys.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back 4 seconds.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back 4 seconds.
What’s 10 inches long, Hard as a rock and filled with semen? The sock under my bed
What’s 10 inches long, Hard as a rock and filled with semen? The sock under my bed
The future The world in 10 years… MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100… Band leader: I’m sorry did you just assume our genre?
The future The world in 10 years… MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100… Band leader: I’m sorry did you just assume our genre?
This poster that says “Green Day: Sold Out” is right in two ways
This poster that says “Green Day: Sold Out” is right in two ways
I’m sick of pretending. I’m ready to tend!
I’m sick of pretending. I’m ready to tend!
Why is Jennifer Lawrence the only one freaking out about the nude photo leak? Because she’s the only one with a fat load on her face.
Why is Jennifer Lawrence the only one freaking out about the nude photo leak? Because she’s the only one with a fat load on her face.
I want to write a book called “Variably Orgasming Man” So people ask me how’s “Variably Orgasming Man” coming?
I want to write a book called “Variably Orgasming Man” So people ask me how’s “Variably Orgasming Man” coming?
Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.
Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.
A girl came up to me yesterday and told me she had constipation. I replied – ‘no shit’.
A girl came up to me yesterday and told me she had constipation. I replied – ‘no shit’.