My wife just cleaned out her purse. So, she’ll be having a garage sale later this week.
Tissues are for tearful issues and for when people think it’s funny but it’s snot.
Tissues are for tearful issues and for when people think it’s funny but it’s snot.
Why is being in the military like having sex? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Why is being in the military like having sex? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.
How do you keep a blonde waiting? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
How do you keep a blonde waiting? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
So, where does the captain keep his armies? In his sleevies!! ( )
So, where does the captain keep his armies? In his sleevies!! ( )
What’s big, yellow, and can’t swim? A school bus full of children.
What’s big, yellow, and can’t swim? A school bus full of children.
FRIEND: what was the best day of ur life WIFE: our wedding day ME (thinking of the time the Coke machine gave me 2 cans instead of 1): same
FRIEND: what was the best day of ur life WIFE: our wedding day ME (thinking of the time the Coke machine gave me 2 cans instead of 1): same
I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope. I was impala’d
I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope. I was impala’d
They say innocence is always found in the children. This has only made it more difficult for me to understand why so many pedophiles are found guilty.
They say innocence is always found in the children. This has only made it more difficult for me to understand why so many pedophiles are found guilty.