Why did the gamer start working out? He wanted to finally get respecced.
Someone tell my kid that if I wanted to hear high-pitched shrieking all night, I would have become a murderer.
Someone tell my kid that if I wanted to hear high-pitched shrieking all night, I would have become a murderer.
My neighbor is a veterinarian I can never tell whether he’s talking about putting an animal to sleep or the “youth in Asia.”
My neighbor is a veterinarian I can never tell whether he’s talking about putting an animal to sleep or the “youth in Asia.”
According to my laptop, my New Year’s resolution is 1680 x 1050.
According to my laptop, my New Year’s resolution is 1680 x 1050.
the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i’m all embarrassed ’cause i’m not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed.
the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i’m all embarrassed ’cause i’m not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed.
Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison.
Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison.
Why was Ohm the Empire’s best scout? He discovered the resistance
Why was Ohm the Empire’s best scout? He discovered the resistance
Some patients are going to die, & you have to learn to accept that. It’s just part of being an extremely bad chiropractor.
Some patients are going to die, & you have to learn to accept that. It’s just part of being an extremely bad chiropractor.
*Involved in high speed chase* *Uses turn signals*
*Involved in high speed chase* *Uses turn signals*
I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket… He said “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I remember the last thing my grandfather ever said to me before he kicked the bucket… He said “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”