Never trust a man that says, “Trust me.” and never trust a woman that says “It’s fine.”
*walking into our new house* ME: Whaddya say we christen our new home? HER: *giggling* OK *later, flinging holy water* ME: GET OUT GHOSTS
*walking into our new house* ME: Whaddya say we christen our new home? HER: *giggling* OK *later, flinging holy water* ME: GET OUT GHOSTS
You should not disagree with my spear It has a point.
You should not disagree with my spear It has a point.
What is Jasmine Tridevil’s (girl with 3 boobs), favorite type of cake? Tres Leches!
What is Jasmine Tridevil’s (girl with 3 boobs), favorite type of cake? Tres Leches!
What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A lunar tick.
What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A lunar tick.
Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring? Cuz he heard Bush got a Dick Cheney.
Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring? Cuz he heard Bush got a Dick Cheney.
What do you call a man that marries another man? A minister! Courtesy of a patient.
What do you call a man that marries another man? A minister! Courtesy of a patient.
How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Asking because it’s been a week and mine still hasn’t.
How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Asking because it’s been a week and mine still hasn’t.
What do a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
What do a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
Don’t go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won’t fight when there’s bubblewrap
Don’t go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won’t fight when there’s bubblewrap