I’m not gay, but 20 is still 20.
His icy glare melts my creamy core. He’s so cold, beads of water drip down his exterior. My walls ache to be drowned by him. -Oreo to milk
His icy glare melts my creamy core. He’s so cold, beads of water drip down his exterior. My walls ache to be drowned by him. -Oreo to milk
Why Is A Man’s Mind Dirtier Than A Woman’s? A woman changes hers more often.
Why Is A Man’s Mind Dirtier Than A Woman’s? A woman changes hers more often.
A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you’ll hear me say ‘please don’t eat me’ ……aaaand send
A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you’ll hear me say ‘please don’t eat me’ ……aaaand send
My boss: Why are you sleeping at your desk?! Me: Because my bed is at home.
My boss: Why are you sleeping at your desk?! Me: Because my bed is at home.
*Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your–” Rapunzel: “I have a boyfriend.” Dragon flying by: “BURN!!”
*Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your–” Rapunzel: “I have a boyfriend.” Dragon flying by: “BURN!!”
Sometimes it’s fun to walk out of the ladies room licking your fingers.
Sometimes it’s fun to walk out of the ladies room licking your fingers.
Me: I’m so tired. Phone: Put me down and go to sleep. Me and Phone: HAHAHAHAHA!
Me: I’m so tired. Phone: Put me down and go to sleep. Me and Phone: HAHAHAHAHA!
My house is the only one on our street with Christmas lights up I guess the rest of the neighbours are a bunch of Jews
My house is the only one on our street with Christmas lights up I guess the rest of the neighbours are a bunch of Jews
I want to steal someone’s phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself
I want to steal someone’s phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself