I don’t volunteer my time to worthy causes but I do always whisper “you’re doing great” when a waiter is describing the specials to me
What position makes the ugliest children? Ask your parents
What position makes the ugliest children? Ask your parents
You want to know a neat trick to get yourself to stop being annoyed by a baby crying? Close the lid to the dumpster.
You want to know a neat trick to get yourself to stop being annoyed by a baby crying? Close the lid to the dumpster.
How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth? A blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos
How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth? A blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos
Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: You’re welcomed, young boy.
Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: You’re welcomed, young boy.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach? It’s not hard…
How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach? It’s not hard…
I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand.
I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand.
I asked my girlfriend to shave her cunt. I woke up the next morning bald.
I asked my girlfriend to shave her cunt. I woke up the next morning bald.
Theresa nothing worse about a breakup than your ex’s name autocompleting whenever you type a word that starts with Theresa same letters
Theresa nothing worse about a breakup than your ex’s name autocompleting whenever you type a word that starts with Theresa same letters