I don’t volunteer my time to worthy causes but I do always whisper “you’re doing great” when a waiter is describing the specials to me
What position makes the ugliest children? Ask your parents
What position makes the ugliest children? Ask your parents
You want to know a neat trick to get yourself to stop being annoyed by a baby crying? Close the lid to the dumpster.
You want to know a neat trick to get yourself to stop being annoyed by a baby crying? Close the lid to the dumpster.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.
What’s the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I’ve never paid money to have a lentil on my face.
What’s the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I’ve never paid money to have a lentil on my face.
Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!
Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!
How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Feminists can’t change anything.
How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Feminists can’t change anything.
What’s the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can’t hear an enzyme
What’s the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can’t hear an enzyme
I’m home alone eating donuts and listening to Journey. I think I can stop believin’ now.
I’m home alone eating donuts and listening to Journey. I think I can stop believin’ now.
There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above
There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above