Category: Children jokes

East and West Germany In West Germany your job determines your Marks. In East Germany Marx determines your job.

When someone slings shit at me, I like to duck and let it hit the person stabbing me in the back.

I love dying from sneezing 11 times in a row and being defibrillated back to life with a 12th

I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.

Her text: I’m tanning. Call you when I’m done. My thoughts: SHE’S NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment? ma’lady

Somebody gets stabbed in London every 57 seconds. Poor bastard.

What’s the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door? An attic door can shut up. ~~im going to hell~~

What’s your best Pirate Joke? What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? the C!

My X-ray technician told me she usually doesn’t go on dates with her patients… …but she saw something in me.