A new musical artist… Another blond this time. Miranda Lambert
ME: [sitting on iphone] europe. europe. EUROPE. europe [5 hrs later] ME: ok fine maybe ur right WIFE: what did you think airplane mode meant
ME: [sitting on iphone] europe. europe. EUROPE. europe [5 hrs later] ME: ok fine maybe ur right WIFE: what did you think airplane mode meant
Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need “lives” as if I didn’t already know that.
Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need “lives” as if I didn’t already know that.
*interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it’s a small place, but you won’t even know I’m here.
*interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it’s a small place, but you won’t even know I’m here.
Trump is a blonde He has yellow hair! Wocka wocka!
Trump is a blonde He has yellow hair! Wocka wocka!
I changed my phone ringtone to the doorbell sound bc I don’t answer that either.
I changed my phone ringtone to the doorbell sound bc I don’t answer that either.
What kind of bee makes milk? A boobie.
What kind of bee makes milk? A boobie.
Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label… It says: Warning – May contain traces of nuts.
Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label… It says: Warning – May contain traces of nuts.
Saw a girl with 12 nipples today. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?
Saw a girl with 12 nipples today. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?
China recently banned girls from eating bananas on live streams… so now the people with hemorrhoids can now get off from girls eating raspberries instead.
China recently banned girls from eating bananas on live streams… so now the people with hemorrhoids can now get off from girls eating raspberries instead.