Today a girl stopped me on the sidewalk and says, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty do you think I am?” “I’d say you’re about the average but I don’t want to make this a mean joke.”
Why couldn’t the ex-CIA agent leave Russia? Because he was Snowden
Why couldn’t the ex-CIA agent leave Russia? Because he was Snowden
911: What’s your emergency, sir? Me: I’m being taken away by ducks! I’m being- 911: Please don’t do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*
911: What’s your emergency, sir? Me: I’m being taken away by ducks! I’m being- 911: Please don’t do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*
What phrase would a neckbeard who watches South Park use the most? M’Kay
What phrase would a neckbeard who watches South Park use the most? M’Kay
Without Loss of Generality Assume x = 5
Without Loss of Generality Assume x = 5
What’s the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race.
What’s the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate…
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate…
I just published a satirical critique of the Russian government and Putin hasn’t sent anyone to kill me yet. I’m radiating with joy.
I just published a satirical critique of the Russian government and Putin hasn’t sent anyone to kill me yet. I’m radiating with joy.
How many blacks does it take to start a riot? -1
How many blacks does it take to start a riot? -1
The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers
The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers