Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole.
When I was 15 I was raising a Tamogochi, not a baby.
When I was 15 I was raising a Tamogochi, not a baby.
If I was one of the seven dwarfs I’d be Nopey.
If I was one of the seven dwarfs I’d be Nopey.
I have a really annoying joke but first you will need to take a deep breath and blink hard… Ha, now you are conscious of your breathing and blinking.
I have a really annoying joke but first you will need to take a deep breath and blink hard… Ha, now you are conscious of your breathing and blinking.
How many Northern Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? Hella.
How many Northern Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? Hella.
The burrito I ate for lunch today just sent me a push notification.
The burrito I ate for lunch today just sent me a push notification.
What’s a pirate’s favourite letter? You’d think “R”, but his first love be the “C”.
What’s a pirate’s favourite letter? You’d think “R”, but his first love be the “C”.
Every fifteen minutes, a teenager crashes his car due to texting and driving. I hope he gives up, because he’s obviously not good at it.
Every fifteen minutes, a teenager crashes his car due to texting and driving. I hope he gives up, because he’s obviously not good at it.
Did you hear the one about the man who got swallowed by a whale? Turns out he survived by running all the way to the end until he was all pooped out!
Did you hear the one about the man who got swallowed by a whale? Turns out he survived by running all the way to the end until he was all pooped out!
Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!
Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!