Hey cat, how’s about I lick myself for hours then puke where you sleep? Don’t answer that. Why do I even talk to you. Stop looking at me.
A man walks into a zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a Shih Tzu.
A man walks into a zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a Shih Tzu.
A man shot himself in the head at an NRA sponsored NASCAR event… while the GOP shot themselves in the foot on the NRA sponsored gun bill. (Jokes for the week of 4/13-4/19 @fridayupdate on twitter.)
A man shot himself in the head at an NRA sponsored NASCAR event… while the GOP shot themselves in the foot on the NRA sponsored gun bill. (Jokes for the week of 4/13-4/19 @fridayupdate on twitter.)
Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too.
Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too.
What’s a panda’s favorite kitchen dish? A pan….duh
What’s a panda’s favorite kitchen dish? A pan….duh
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that. I heard this at work and thought it was clever. Enjoy
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that. I heard this at work and thought it was clever. Enjoy
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot A carrot
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot A carrot
I hate it when people ask me what i’ll be doing in 5 years time C’mon!! I don’t have 2020 vision
I hate it when people ask me what i’ll be doing in 5 years time C’mon!! I don’t have 2020 vision
I was gonna tell a gay joke… butt fuck it.
I was gonna tell a gay joke… butt fuck it.
Chimney Sweep Lady chimneysweep is a real fluesie
Chimney Sweep Lady chimneysweep is a real fluesie