Category: Cat jokes

Medical humour A properly immobilized patient requires no anesthesia.

What can you tell about a guy who’s always masturbating? That he’s the son of one Mr. and Mrs. Bating. Please don’t kill me.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you’ll be a mile away and he’ll be barefoot.

911! I just murdered a bunch of people 911: omg on purpose? Hang on lemme ask, did I murder anyone by mistake?.. No one is answering, So..

My wife asked me why I was walking around the house with a gun I responded, “Because of those fucking decepticons!” I laughed. She laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.

science jokes two chemists walk into a bar, the first one says “I’ll have H20” the second one says “I’ll have H20 two” the second chemist dies.how did he die? tell me in the comments

Turns out today is Star Wars day… May the fourth be with you.

I like my coffee Like I like my women Strong and free!

Getting older is like being in a prison shower You try to bend over as little as possible.

Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery? Wife: I’d take half and leave. Husband: Well here’s $6 and you can start packing anytime now.