Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? Apparently, it’s making headlines.
Dogs are just vacuums that want to be rewarded
Dogs are just vacuums that want to be rewarded
What is the difference between an Afghanistani Primary School and a Taliban Base? What would I know, I am just a drone pilot.
What is the difference between an Afghanistani Primary School and a Taliban Base? What would I know, I am just a drone pilot.
“Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!” – Polite home-schooled kid I met today.
“Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!” – Polite home-schooled kid I met today.
Why don’t black girls wear underwear to cookouts? To keep the flies off the fried chicken.
Why don’t black girls wear underwear to cookouts? To keep the flies off the fried chicken.
What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt.
What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt.
Do you want to earn $$$? Yes, three dollars!
Do you want to earn $$$? Yes, three dollars!
Me on New Year’s Day: 2016 is so going to be my year! (Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone’s year.
Me on New Year’s Day: 2016 is so going to be my year! (Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone’s year.
Make a fire with someone and they’ll be warm for a night. Make a fire with someone and they’ll be warm for the rest of their life.
Make a fire with someone and they’ll be warm for a night. Make a fire with someone and they’ll be warm for the rest of their life.
Self-absorbed people are the worst. They are always thinking about themselves when they should be thinking about me.
Self-absorbed people are the worst. They are always thinking about themselves when they should be thinking about me.