Did you hear about the guy who fell in a vat at the eyeglass factory? He really made a spectacle of himself.
People often complain and belittle alternative religious organizations like atheism and scientology… but at least atheism is a non-prophet organization.
People often complain and belittle alternative religious organizations like atheism and scientology… but at least atheism is a non-prophet organization.
A stamp collector walks into a bar… He walks up to the hostess and says, “You’re more beautiful than any stamp in my collection” She replied, “Philately will get you nowhere.”
A stamp collector walks into a bar… He walks up to the hostess and says, “You’re more beautiful than any stamp in my collection” She replied, “Philately will get you nowhere.”
The most embarrassing thing about mistaking pilates class for pirates class is concealing my musket.
The most embarrassing thing about mistaking pilates class for pirates class is concealing my musket.
People say you are what you eat… So you’re a dick.
People say you are what you eat… So you’re a dick.
When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say “oh, I thought she was already dead”
When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say “oh, I thought she was already dead”
Someday I’m gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone’s mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.
Someday I’m gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone’s mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights.
How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? None he’s still clinging to the old lightbulb.
How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? None he’s still clinging to the old lightbulb.
I want the Cowboys to come to my funeral so they can let me down one last time!! (Shots fired)
I want the Cowboys to come to my funeral so they can let me down one last time!! (Shots fired)
(Anxiety/Depression joke) I’m always exhausted… except for my nervous energy.
(Anxiety/Depression joke) I’m always exhausted… except for my nervous energy.