Lawyer jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?” “Really?” the other replied, “Why did you switch?” “Well, for four very good reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants dont get so attached to them, third there are some things even a rat wont do, and fourth sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results to human beings.”

Lawyer jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, “Well have the y got a verdict yet?” The bailiff shook his head and said, “Verdict? Hell, theyre still doing nominating speeches for the foremans position!”

Lawyer jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” lawyer replied, “Ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that easy question.”