Biologist jokes October 19, 2026Joko What’s bad about wetting your bed? Urine it. Spread the loveWhat’s bad about wetting your bed? Urine it.
Biologist jokes October 21, 2026Joko Q: whats a biologists definition of a graphA: an animal with a long neck
Biologist jokes October 21, 2026Joko A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $100,000 Federal grant to investigate the “V” formation of goose flight. It had been observed that one side of the “V” is always longer than the other side. This group would put together a research proposal to apply for the $100,000 grant and hopefully find out why this happens.To start off the discussion, Todd, the Consulting Firm Biologist stands up and says in typical consultant fashion, “I say we ask for $200,000, and attempt to model the wind drag coefficients. We can have our geologists record and map the ground topography and then our staff meteorologists can predict potential updraft currents. Our internal CAD department can then produce 3-d drawings of the predicted wing tip vortices. Then, after several years of study, our in-house publications department could produce a nice thick report full of charts and graphs.”The Senior Research Biologist, a professor at the local university, cleared his throat and responded, “No, no!, Thats not it at all. We only need $150,000. We can train a group of domesticated geese to fly in formations of equal length and then compare their relative fitness to wild geese. We can then publish the results in the Journal of Wildlife Management. About then, the hardworking field biologist stands up and begins walking for the door. “Where are you going?” the group asks. “Im leaving” he replies, “Ive heard enough. No one has to give me $100,000 to find out that the reason one side of the “V” is longer is simply because there are more damn geese on that side!”
