What do you call two lonely bastards drinking together? Two bastards.
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What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash? Tele-Scope.
A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. “Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?” asked the psychiatrist. “As a matter of fact, I do,” said the patient. “And when does this happen?” asked the psychiatrist. “Oh,” said the patient, “when I answer the telephone.”
